So I'm really not trying that hard anymore, but even if I tried it wouldn't work. There's this really tall guy in Tulip that sounds EXACTLY like him. I'm not saying that it's close to his voice or tone or something, THEY HAVE THE EXACT SAME VOICE!!!! It's so freaking weird! Whenever I walk pass that guy (Which happens a lot since he's in year 10 too) I can't help but turn around to make sure it's not HIM. It's really weird...And I'm really sensitive to voices. I can fall in love with someone's voice.
I don't think I was being stupid in the last post, I still understand and I still feel like that. But since writing it I've just seen too many great moments, in which I was shouting to myself HEY! ISN'T LIFE AMAZING? Isn't it worth fighting for? Isn't every breath that you CAN take wonderful? It's pure joy. Living. The power to be powerful. The power to be able to change things around you. The joy of 'being there'. I probably sound like I'm crazy but these are the moments that make me stick to life. Tightly.
My goals and dreams...they are right there, shining :) I'm gonna have them. I know.
I've loved writing since I was really young, but these days I'm taking it more seriously. I love expressing myself in words. And really, the way everyone reacts to my writings...it makes me to be hopeful. Like I actually have the talent.
Another thing that makes me be brighter these days is dancing. I just turn the volume really high, and then there's nothing else but me and music. I jump and I dance and I sing, and every move is a wonderful experience. And I pretend that I'm on this stage with the huge crowd, and it's me everywhere. Someday, someday...
I've always experienced weird stuff. It's like, when I think about something, it happens. When I suddenly remember some old friend, that friend somehow connects me again. When something's on my mind, it'll suddenly be everywhere. And I feel things before they happen. I do believe in this.
So this summer, I decided to really try them by intention, not just because I was randomly thinking about something. So I visualised the things I wanted, I started by simple things. First, I wanted to keep a cat of my own in my house (I know it sounds lame but I love animals, been living with my cat since I can remember, but she's not here now...) but I know my mom wouldn't ever let me. Then, I wished to have the guy I had a crush on for a loooooooong time. And at last, to perform in school.
So this is what happened in less than a month later. I was hearing the sound of some kittens at night just outside my house, but whenever I went to see what's it there wasn't anything. One day, my friend came to me with this very cute black and white kitten, saying she's found it there, and since she knew I love cats wanted me to keep it. To my surprise my mom agreed, and then I had my wish literally in my hands.
School started, and in a few days my crush started to notice me. I really don't have any idea what happened, cause everything was very fast. We started hanging out, and I really can't say more since this blog is public but we had the sparks :) Knowing it is great when you know he didn't know I EXISTED before that.
Still in the first weeks of school, they started organizing performances for Hari Raya, and I was chosen to sing. To PERFORM IN SCHOOL.
So, I had my three wished in less than a month. Or so it seemed.
I lost the cat. After a few weeks my mom started complaining, and it was making a lot of noise and trouble and bothered her. So I had to give it to that friend of mine to keep, and she just released it a few days ago too cause she couldn't keep it. Ana Lucia is gone now.
I lost that boy. Everything happened very fast. We had this grand attraction, spending every single chance we could get to be together in school, and things that I couldn't imagine to happen. But he couldn't make up his mind if he really wants to be with me or not. We stopped hanging out. I'm trying to move on now.
I lost my chance to perform. The performances got postponed twice and eventually was cancelled.
So, I had my three wishes gone in less than...two weeks. It seems like that for sure.
What I'm saying is that maybe I shouldn't have forced these things to happen even if I wanted them. Maybe things really happen for a reason, maybe they were not meant to be. That guy probably can't understand how the hell this happened...lol. It was C.R.A.Z.Y.
Sorry this was too long. Told you I love writing...
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