So I missed a lot of days here, doesn't seem to matter anymore though.These days here, they make me sad, and every single hour passing reminds me how close I am to leaving again and I don't think I can handle it this time, it's like watching something being torn again and again and each time it gets harder. Sometimes I think if my parents just leave me there I'll be alright. But every few months I have to come back and start the misery all over again. There's no ending to it. And each time here feels less and less like home.
Well, of course you don't understand what it feels like, and of course you'll think I'm making a big deal out of nothing.
I hate this two faced people, I hate it when I try so much and they do nothing, it's like I don't even exist to them. Then I get mad at myself, for caring too much, to be stupid enough to think they care. And every single time I decide to leave them but I can't actually do that. SUCKS.
Hate crying but in certain days it's not in my control :D and yesterday was the worst! I was in the car with dad, watching the city and the people, thinking how much I'm gonna miss it. Miss being here, miss being in the same time zone, miss family stuff. Then he left for a few minutes to buy stuff and I just burst out crying in the car, it was awful. Crying scares me cause I hate being weak and well, I don't cry like normal people. I bite my lips and put my hands on my mouth to stop moaning and the sound is scary, then my whole face goes white and I look like a crazy person that has just ran away from a mental hospital and ewww.
The good thing is that I won't need to cry for the next few weeks after that :D but damn, it really does make me feel better.
Finished reading Deathly Hallows again at 3 a.m. I can read that book over and over again.
I HATE WASTING TIME!
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