When I'll look back at my posts here, it's because I wanna know how was I doin in that period of time. Well, for the past week everything's been alright, and dare I say more than alright. It was going great until the stupid atopic eczema (that I'm dealing with since age two...) came back and it attacked harder, this time on my face and my eyes. It sucks. I've always said I love life too much to end it but I really understand how dark a depression caused by this can be, well at least now I'm not all alone in my room in KL but when that'll happen, I understand how ending your own life seems like a very pleasant option compared to what my body goes through, it's like how I prefer the pain to the itch. And no I'm not making a big deal out of a chronic disease..it'll always be 'why me?!' and it has no cure and I'm just so sick and tired of it. Oh well...
But apart from that, I've had a pretty good week, maybe the best one since I came here. Hell yea it's because my dad is back :-j when he lost his faith in me I lost it in mine too. Now that he believes in me again I gained it back as well. It's like the future shines so bright, it's like I can do whatever I desire. It's like I'm powerful. It's like I have a plan for my life again and this gives me a reason to wake up with a passion everyday. I'm just so different from that disappointing girl I've had become in these past months. Don't know if it makes sense lol.
Two weeks from now school starts for the last time. I know I'll miss it, I already do. I'm probably the only one who can't sleep the night before because she's too excited all her life, since I started school. Probably the only one who misses school because of the subjects and the teachers and the rules and not friends. I know I'm so gonna miss that. And this will be the last first day of school.
After that, I've a lot of plans. But one thing for sure is that I'll leave Malaysia, just because of its weather...I really can't stand it anymore. When I'm away from the humid hot weather I realize the difference. I'll probably go somewhere real cold :D I like Canada. I won't even have to learn Norwegian and well a lot of my cousins are there lol.
I know I won't miss leaving Tehran this time.
p.s: havin a series of nightmares this week. dunno what the hell's wrong with my head...
Don't give me that suicide song, babycakes! Toughen up! I could give you a long list of my infirmities and conditions. Things may look especially bad for you, because you may seem to be suffering alone. When you are settled into a loving and supporting adult relationship, you will have a different perspective on your itch. We are living creatures, janam, and like all living creatures we are afflicted by numerous assaults across our lives. If this seems harsh, then forgive me. I do not mean for it to be. Love ya, Ron
ReplyDeletePS It's good to read your posts. It's my way of getting to know you better. :))
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