PEACE

I just wish that I could live in yesterday forever.

And by yesterday, I really mean YESTERDAY, 24 hours ago I finally felt like myself. I didn't pretend, I didn't fake a thing...

But oh well, then again, I hurt myself last night, yelling at myself, it was craaaazzzzzyyyyy.

I don't care what happens next. I'm just glad I finally took it out. It doesn't matter what will happen! :D

P.S: Today was fun. Rain in the morning so no activities...lol =p

Never belonged to your world.

Tell them what I hoped would be impossible. :|

ImposSible

Grrrr...first of all I hate to be so emo here. But that's the only place I can be like this, I promise. I'm nothing like that in the...real world...I guess. Anywayz, forgive me if you want. And I'm sorry if this is some kind of girly crap.

So I cried today, a lot, when I was sitting with Kiarash. I didn't want him to see that but I just really needed to...it was the worst feeling ever. He said everything's gonna be okay, and said things that were nice but I know they're never true...it's crazy. But still, he's my best friend, the only one that understands. I really had no one else to turn to so I went to him, and while waiting I saw THEM. Not a good thing.

But here I am, survived. Almost.

Tears really help I gueSs

DEMONS

I'm SUCH a stalker, I'm such an easy girl, And I always ruin everything...

And I always end up left alone, and so far nobody's found me good enough to love.

I'm in a huge fight with my mom and best friend, everything's going wrong,

And life SUCKS,

BIG TIME.

I don't even have a friend to ask me what's going on, what's wrong with me, and just tell me everything's gonna be okay even though we both know it's a lie...

I'm jealous, cold, depressed, a drama queen...

And at this moment, I HATE MYSELF.

Taking ChanceS?

I want to tell him, but I know it'll ruin everything.

Sigh...

Such a lonely day...and it's miNe

Today was blank.

Blurry.

Sad.

Lonely...

I can REALLY use a wish right now

It's hard to believe how fast things can change, how fast things DID change, in just a few days. My life it's just so different now, and it all happened in less than two weeks. I can't describe it...it's just that, everything looks so far away! Like I'm not here. Like it's not me, doing all these things, saying all these things, it's just not like me!

Today was supposed to be great,amazing,brilliant,super,extraordinary...

And then just 10 minutes before the meeting she called and canceled it, without a reason why, and I'm wondering why I'm not mad at her yet, why am I not devastated, why...was I so calm? She basically RUINED everything without even saying a simple 'sorry' , and then she snapped at me for asking why. WHY THE HECK I DIDN'T FIGHT WITH HER?

Maybe, maybe maybe maybe it was better for us, maybe it wouldn't be the day I wanted. Sigh...I don't know. I just can't be mad at her. Sure, I'm gonna be a lil cold to her for the next few days, but I know I'll forget. I just can't stay mad at her.

Anyway...

It's just so weird to me, the way she acts...

But I had fun today :) Maybe that was the amazing thing about today. Simply having a good time and well...I was CLOSE to him today :-" :P

Stop being so attractive, you're distracting me! :P

OMG I'm too tired to type...today was so freaking fun! After staying back for almost two hours after school and almost doing nothing (Cuz the music teacher was so bitchy! She didn't let us practice in music room! :-L ) I went home, dressed up, and went to Yassi's house to surprise her for her birthday which is today...I was waiting by the pool when I suddenly realized that the guys in the basketball court actually look familiar...and wow, they were all sayfol guys, shirtless! OMG OMG we laughed so hard at theM :D Toooooo sad we didn't have a camera! :(

Then we jumped in the swimming pool and had funnnnn till it was too dark to see. Actually she has a party tomorrow xD

No school tomorrow haha. Nava's going back to Iran and I have to be with her :( It's just...too soon...Meh.

I miss Iran. It's getting cold there...I want to be there :(

Got a headache...I think I've a cold. By the way, life's still amazing :) !

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn...

Today was a good one. TWO FREE PERIODS! xD But then again, the English part was bad, and Ms.Joyce wasn't in a good mood. :-/ meh. Anywayz I had fun listening to music for the whole two hours :D

Something about me has changed, and I'm really trying hard to know what is it...It's a good thing, but still!

DO I NEED TO REPEAT THAT I'M SO DAMN NERVOUS FOR THE PERFORMANCE THING? :-SS

Nah.

I'm seriously dying. LOL.

See?! I'm updating this...daily... :-"

Start Of Something New?!

Okay, I know I'm soooo lazy! Haven't updated this poor thing for eight months. I know, I know...I'm just too busy. And I just have too many places to write :P

So, where do I start? A LOT has happened in these eight months. Guess I'll just try to update this more often, even daily maybe?! Haha. I don't know. I wish!

I THINK I'm gonna sing in front of the whole school next Monday, for the Hari Raia performance. I'm SO damn nervous, and whenever I think of it I just wanna throw up. The bad part is that, the song which I'm supposed to sing is not my favorite, and I'm not cool with it. I really really really wish it was Kelly Clarkson's Because Of You! I've sang this for five freaking years and I'm PRO. But Leona Lewis' I Will Be?! It's not my type. Anywayz...I just hope that I won't screw it up. The whole school...OMFG. Sometimes I just wanna step back...but I know that's the only way I can start. Complicated, eh?

I'm loving the school life. Last year, I was new and didn't know many people, I was shy, I didn't know how to behave in a new place. But now here I am, I've got lots of friends, I'm social (well...at least a bit more:P) I smile, I talk loudly, I volunteer for things, I'm always there. I love everything. My class this year is waaay cooler than last year's, at least there are no mean girls. Yet. I love my friends :)

And oh well...as usual...I have a crush :) That makes school fun too :P He's...cute...I think about him everyday. Haizzzz...

BUT I'm too scared to do the first move, what if he doesn't like me back?! I don't wanna risk...

Gonna go to bed now, got tuition tomorrow :( It's 23:50.

I love life :)

P.S: Vampire Diaries is baaack! The first episode was mind blowing. Poor Damon...!!