taSte of freedOm

Sometimes I think that I really do need to write in here everyday, 'cause if I don't my mind might just explode, I need a place to sort these thoughts out and tell myself some stuff, because when others do I never tend to listen or accept it in anyway. I'm that stubborn...but when it comes to writing here, it's like another 'me' is writing, a much wiser and grown up version of Setareh that can see everything clearly. So yeah, I'll be here for a long time I guess.

These past days been crazy, bad and good, boring and exciting, depressing and bursting with joy. C.R.A.Z.Y. But I'm glad they were there, and the things that happened happened. It made me realize some important stuff which I was really beginning to ignore and forget about. Like how much I wasn't trying hard and how I let the 'frienships & relationships' be my biggest priority, which brings along useless drama and takes a lot of my energy and concentration that I need in such an important year. I needed to cool off, I was too wild in the past few months and well, that wasn't the real me. I never liked sudden friendships, and it always turns out that I was right about it. They're not deep, and they can end as quickly as they started, one day you're 'best friends' and the next you walk past each other like strangers. I thought that night could kill me, it nearly did, but then someone reminded me of what should really be important to me, what I really am, and how I am different from those people, how I'm better than them in so many ways, brighter even. I needed to hear this. To remember it again, and since then I've been awfully calm and relax. I mean, after a huge fight you should be feeling at least bad for a few days or so, but I have a hard time remembering that I'm even in a fight at all. I just don't see them anymore, if I want to be honest.

So...my lifestyle's lot better now. No more partying and stupid,countless hangouts to waste time with, no more excess Internet which is totally awesome, I just realized how relaxed I am when I'm not using my laptop. I exercise, I eat healthy and less, and I get enough sleeps each night. This is the best feeling ever, the feeling of having control over your life. Before that, 'people' controled my life. Now I do. :)