I'm home.
It's been really different.
I can't believe this is happening. Again.
I can't even write anymore...
Friday, December 28, 2012
Sunday, September 30, 2012
love is blindness, I don't wanna see...
I'd always thought that when I'll finally stop being lazy and start writing here again after four months it will be for some extraordinary reason, like my high school graduation night, the first day of college, running for vice president in student council, the awesomeness of CIMP, Broga trip or even just expressing my feelings during some unhappy times. But it all came down to a simple thing and that is love.
Yes, the same cheesy cliche that every song is about. But it's true. What love does to you is amazing, it leaves you dazzled and stunned and electrified. It makes you the happiest in the world and it somehow manages to make you the most miserable one. It makes you lose your independence and it makes you forget whatever plan you had for your future in the past, a time that seems so far away and so worthless and so damn dull before you met them. You just simply can't imagine one day without them and it drives you crazy to be apart. It's quite astonishing, what love does to you. It makes your whole world upside down and it makes you brave, ready to face anything now that you know you have someone for you. It's like magic.
I was the kind of girl who'd laugh at the silly love stories and would find relationships such a waste of time and energy and tears. I believed real love didn't exist, that it's only there in the perfect movies but everybody will find someone compatible enough to get married to and everyone will somehow find a way to bear each other for the rest of their lives as friends after their honeymoon phase is over and the fire dies down... and well those who couldn't, would be divorced. Never ever in my wildest dreams I could see that I'd be such a sucker for love, but it happened to me. It's indescribable, what love does to you. I consider myself very lucky for finding the one at such a young age. If it happened for everyone, the world would be a much better place. :)
He changed me, he made me a better person. He made someone who would sacrifice everything and wouldn't give a damn about herself anymore when it came to him out of the most selfish girl on earth. He made me realize my flaws, and helped me to fix them. He made me see the world with new eyes, and taught me how to be less serious and harsh and to be more loving.
I'm not even sorry for gushing about this overwhelming feeling. It's too powerful, too huge to contain it.
Yes, the same cheesy cliche that every song is about. But it's true. What love does to you is amazing, it leaves you dazzled and stunned and electrified. It makes you the happiest in the world and it somehow manages to make you the most miserable one. It makes you lose your independence and it makes you forget whatever plan you had for your future in the past, a time that seems so far away and so worthless and so damn dull before you met them. You just simply can't imagine one day without them and it drives you crazy to be apart. It's quite astonishing, what love does to you. It makes your whole world upside down and it makes you brave, ready to face anything now that you know you have someone for you. It's like magic.
I was the kind of girl who'd laugh at the silly love stories and would find relationships such a waste of time and energy and tears. I believed real love didn't exist, that it's only there in the perfect movies but everybody will find someone compatible enough to get married to and everyone will somehow find a way to bear each other for the rest of their lives as friends after their honeymoon phase is over and the fire dies down... and well those who couldn't, would be divorced. Never ever in my wildest dreams I could see that I'd be such a sucker for love, but it happened to me. It's indescribable, what love does to you. I consider myself very lucky for finding the one at such a young age. If it happened for everyone, the world would be a much better place. :)
He changed me, he made me a better person. He made someone who would sacrifice everything and wouldn't give a damn about herself anymore when it came to him out of the most selfish girl on earth. He made me realize my flaws, and helped me to fix them. He made me see the world with new eyes, and taught me how to be less serious and harsh and to be more loving.
I'm not even sorry for gushing about this overwhelming feeling. It's too powerful, too huge to contain it.
Friday, April 27, 2012
and in the morning I'll be with you, but it will be a different kind...
Today, 27th April 2012 was the last day of school for us. It's hard to believe that we won't have a school day ever again. We're like birds that've been in a cage for so long, and when they finally open the door and let us out we're too dazzled to go, we still can't believe it :D
Time's flying these days...I can't believe the scary IGCSE exams are only 10 days away. Then it's Graduation in June and college in July...it's all just too fast.
p.s: my last day of school was Monday! :P I had my closure. It was surreal.
Time's flying these days...I can't believe the scary IGCSE exams are only 10 days away. Then it's Graduation in June and college in July...it's all just too fast.
p.s: my last day of school was Monday! :P I had my closure. It was surreal.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Now she's just somebody that you used to know...
I'm not alright.
So, I've been feeling a bit funny and weird for the last couple of days but I blamed it on my messed up immunity system and anticipated another cold that was about to bring me down for a week. But it got scary. Last night my gums bled and I found a huge purple swellen point on my skin. I didn't care much obviously. But this morning as I woke up to catch my ICT extra class I felt weird. I know something was up but I just thought it's the pain of waking up at 7 a.m during holidays and it'll go away...I went back home and fell asleep for a few hours, when I woke up I felt dizzy, breathing heavily with this ache all over my body. My head was about to explode and my eyes hurt. So I thought it's flu instead of a cold! Yay.
My fever wasn't so high but then it got worse even though I'd took pills to cut it down. After a few hours I know I was burning with an awful fever, and when it got to the point that I fell down hard while I was trying to get up, and I had a drugged-like confusion and lights flashing and couldn't even lift a hand I decided I really have to see a doctor. Right away. At 11 p.m.
So here I am, back from the visit. 39 degrees fever, the doctor said I might be infected with Dengue (Look it up, it's pretty serious.) and if the pills he'd give me don't cut down the fever tomorrow I should go for a blood test immediately.
I'm scared. I've been damn sick many times before but this time is different, I've never been in this much of pain, I was never THIS weak. And somehow I know the pills aren't gonna work.
So my point is, I know I'm probably overreacting but I just realised how fragile we really are. How fragile LIFE is. How you can be perfectly healthy and hanging out with your friends and the other day you'll be dead, lying cold in the ground. How minor things can get serious. How I still have a lot do with my life, how I should tell the people in my life certain things before I go. How they should know that I love them and even though things were messed up sometimes I truly care for them and appreciate them.
I've always thought, I'm gonna start writing something REALLY long one day. And that thing is gonna be my honest words with every single person I've met in my life, even the ones that weren't that important or close. But now, staring at death in the eye makes me realise how little time I have for that. I should have started way earlier and completed it little by little as I met new people.
I'll be waiting for tomorrow, and I'll probably survive, but I look at life differently now. And if I will, I'll start that long thing soon :) You never know when it's gonna hit you.
So, I've been feeling a bit funny and weird for the last couple of days but I blamed it on my messed up immunity system and anticipated another cold that was about to bring me down for a week. But it got scary. Last night my gums bled and I found a huge purple swellen point on my skin. I didn't care much obviously. But this morning as I woke up to catch my ICT extra class I felt weird. I know something was up but I just thought it's the pain of waking up at 7 a.m during holidays and it'll go away...I went back home and fell asleep for a few hours, when I woke up I felt dizzy, breathing heavily with this ache all over my body. My head was about to explode and my eyes hurt. So I thought it's flu instead of a cold! Yay.
My fever wasn't so high but then it got worse even though I'd took pills to cut it down. After a few hours I know I was burning with an awful fever, and when it got to the point that I fell down hard while I was trying to get up, and I had a drugged-like confusion and lights flashing and couldn't even lift a hand I decided I really have to see a doctor. Right away. At 11 p.m.
So here I am, back from the visit. 39 degrees fever, the doctor said I might be infected with Dengue (Look it up, it's pretty serious.) and if the pills he'd give me don't cut down the fever tomorrow I should go for a blood test immediately.
I'm scared. I've been damn sick many times before but this time is different, I've never been in this much of pain, I was never THIS weak. And somehow I know the pills aren't gonna work.
So my point is, I know I'm probably overreacting but I just realised how fragile we really are. How fragile LIFE is. How you can be perfectly healthy and hanging out with your friends and the other day you'll be dead, lying cold in the ground. How minor things can get serious. How I still have a lot do with my life, how I should tell the people in my life certain things before I go. How they should know that I love them and even though things were messed up sometimes I truly care for them and appreciate them.
I've always thought, I'm gonna start writing something REALLY long one day. And that thing is gonna be my honest words with every single person I've met in my life, even the ones that weren't that important or close. But now, staring at death in the eye makes me realise how little time I have for that. I should have started way earlier and completed it little by little as I met new people.
I'll be waiting for tomorrow, and I'll probably survive, but I look at life differently now. And if I will, I'll start that long thing soon :) You never know when it's gonna hit you.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
17
Last hours of being seventeen.
I'm usually eager to move on and get 'older' soon but I guess this is the point of my life that I don't wish to age anymore.
Seventeen was the perfect one, not too young and not too old. Something heavenly between these two. And now I'm officially gonna leave teenagehood behind...it feels weird. So this is it. This is who I'm gonna be for the rest of my life. My transformation from a little girl to a young woman is finally complete. :)
Took me so many years and it was full of good and bad times, but I FINALLY made it. This is gonna be a new phase.
So how did I spend the last day of being a seventeen years old teenager? Treated myself to an awesome manicure at the spa :D it's so awesome. It's amazing how little things can make you feel a whole lot better.
My apologies for not writing here for so long...I was just being busy and lazy and afraid of everything happening and figuring out a way to explain them here.
Anyway, I'm not sure how am I feeling. I just know that when I'll look back to January 19th 2012 I'll have something about this thing that's happening now :D It's kind of like capturing a moment in time. A memory freak as I am, that should not surprise many of you...
I'm usually eager to move on and get 'older' soon but I guess this is the point of my life that I don't wish to age anymore.
Seventeen was the perfect one, not too young and not too old. Something heavenly between these two. And now I'm officially gonna leave teenagehood behind...it feels weird. So this is it. This is who I'm gonna be for the rest of my life. My transformation from a little girl to a young woman is finally complete. :)
Took me so many years and it was full of good and bad times, but I FINALLY made it. This is gonna be a new phase.
So how did I spend the last day of being a seventeen years old teenager? Treated myself to an awesome manicure at the spa :D it's so awesome. It's amazing how little things can make you feel a whole lot better.
My apologies for not writing here for so long...I was just being busy and lazy and afraid of everything happening and figuring out a way to explain them here.
Anyway, I'm not sure how am I feeling. I just know that when I'll look back to January 19th 2012 I'll have something about this thing that's happening now :D It's kind of like capturing a moment in time. A memory freak as I am, that should not surprise many of you...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)